I am 100% content with leaving my kids zero dollars when I die.

Yep. I said it. An estate planning attorney who doesn’t obsess over his own estate. The blasphemy. :)

To be clear, I didn’t say I was planning on leaving my kids zero dollars. I just said I was content with it.

The reason for that is simple: I’m doing my very best to leave the kind of legacy that lasts for multiple generations and determines success to a much higher degree than any amount of money.

I want my legacy to be that I raised children that go out in the world and make it better.

This was true before George Floyd was murdered. But the subsequent events following his death have provided even more clarity about what that actually means.

The true way to build legacy is not with talk, it’s with action.

And, the best part of this is, the action I’m referring to doesn’t even take any additional work.

See, all of us (yes, an attorney just made a blanket statement with no room for exceptions – a rarity in our profession) fall short of our actions meeting up with our statements, ESPECIALLY when it comes to telling our kids what they should do versus SHOWING them how to do it.

It goes to the simpler things in life:

• Do you put the grocery cart in the cart rack when you’re done or just leave it?
• Do you pick up trash on the ground when you see it?
• When someone cuts you off in traffic do you react with an outburst or control your feelings?
• Do you gossip?

And it goes to the more serious things in life:

• With friends and family, when someone makes an off color joke (no matter your race), do you tolerate it or do you speak up?
• Do you share your financial decision with your kids?
• Do you tell your kids “because I said so” instead of walking them through your thought process, AND THEN holding yourself to the same standard?

The point of this message IS NOT to tell you what is right or wrong, good or bad, or anything in between. You are entitled to your values and personal philosophy whether they are in line with mine or not.

BUT, if your values and personal philosophy are important to you and you want to pass those things on to your kids, remember, actions speak louder than words.

The money means nothing if the person attached to the money is incapable of making good choices.

This is a great time for ALL of us to be cognizant of our actions in the context of our words. Now is a great time to take stock of whether or not we’re actually living the lives we hope our kids do. :)

And, I think it goes without saying, but I’m happy to have all of you in my life, no matter the relationship. I’m doing my best to be that person I’d want me kids to be.

Cheers,

Christopher Small
CMS Law Firm LLC

PS – of course we’re here if you need estate planning or probate help. Click here to talk estate planning. Click here to talk probate.